Forgiveness

I received a Christmas Card in the mail last night. I know usually something I get excited about especially since it usually has pictures and that kind of thing in it. Not so this time I got one from my brother in law... He made sure to chastise me and remind me of forgiveness. Now don't get me wrong I have no problem with forgiveness in fact I think it's very important, however, to be forgiven I feel like you need to ask for forgiveness. I also feel like in the situation that we've been in over the past year forgiveness in next to impossible. I also think that after you treat someone like crap for 5 years forgiveness is a little easier said than done. You know maybe forgiveness would come when they asked for forgiveness and stop treating my child different than other relatives. I mean my son doesn't know them and I really don't care if he does know them. They have chosen not to see him, not to spend time with, not to be around him, and ultimately that is their choice.

He then mentioned Family and how important Family was and this is something I know. My Family is very important to me, but what he doesn't know is that our personal family has had a rough year and as a family we have perservered and conquered our issues. His family is not our family our number 1 family is our small little group made up of 3 and a half. As long as there is a roof over our heads, love in our hearts, and two children who are taken care of then I'm not worried about his family. Our extended families once married come second and I have to say that we are closer to my family then this other family. None of them invite us to do anything or request spending time with us so why would we make ourselves readily available. It's not going to happen, and it might as well be forgotten about.

Finally, Christmas is a special time of year and how dare you chastise someone in a Christmas Card that is supposed to be sent in good will. Not the best forum for such a thing.

Just Another Weekend

I spent this weekend contemplating many things although most of the time my thoughts ran from one thing to another I did come up with a few semi-decent thoughts. My first thought was about writing a book about dealing with a child that has a heart problem. I know that back when we started this journey with James I was looking for something, ANYTHING that would give me some hope or someone to talk to who had been going through something similar.

The second thought that ran through my head is that I have found that my life has suddenly become less stressful. I'm not as stressed now that we aren't dealing with my husband's family. I think it's kind of nice for us just to sit back and enjoy eachother's company and spend time with our son.

I also spent some time this weekend searching for genealogy on my step-father's family and my husband's family and have decided that this is something that I really enjoy. The more I find the more I can't wait to show them what I've found. The other thing that I've started hearing a lot this weekend is mama from my 11 month old (as of tomorrow). He seems to be going through a phase of needing me. I know that because of his condition I've babied him a little more than what I need to, but as a first time parent it was such a hard thing to do. So now we seem to be needing mommy way more than what we have previously been needing mommy. I keep telling myself that one day he won't need me so I need to enjoy this while it lasts, but at the same time I wonder why he thinks he needs me right now. Anyway will write later.

Another Day Another Dollar

I find myself constantly thinking about how nice it would be to stay at home and take care of my son, but then I realize that I have to work to provide for him. It's this catch 22 that doesn't make any sense. I mean obviously staying at home with your kids is probably one of the best ideas possible, but in this society we live in most people don't have the option to stay home. Why is that? I remember growing up my mother always managed to stay home with us. We went to school and she would pick us up and make sure that we did our homework and then we had dinner and on and on. For me this is a cherished time in my life. I also know that my mom played a big role in my life and still does. So why is it in our society that I can't stay home and raise my son? It seems as if the cost of living has gone up or maybe it's that we really have no middle class any longer. Whatever the reason I find myself constantly getting up every morning to pull myself in to work.

It is the same old routine everyday wake up, get ready for work, work, come home do house work.... it would definately be easier to just be at home and get everything done there that needs to be done.

My First Blog Posting

This blogging thing is something that I've always wanted to try. So after looking up some of my favorite housewives blogs I thought I would give it a shot. I'm really not sure if anyone will read my blog as I'm not really an important or influential person, but what does it matter this is my blog and I can discuss whatever I want.

I watched the Real Housewives of NJ Reunion last night and boy was it CRAZY! I can't wait to watch the second part of it this Thursday. I think it is terrible how Danielle treats all of them and how she tried to break up the family, but I guess whatever it makes good television. I've also realized that these so called reality shows aren't so "REAL" I mean I was just reading about the split up between Jon and Kate Gosselin and I can't believe how un-real their show has become. I read that Kate said they had been seperated for 2 years. If that really is the case than boy has TLC pulled the wool over the eyes of the viewers. I guess my thinking is that if you have 8 kids DIVORCE shouldn't be an option. I don't really think divorce is an option for any family and I say this coming from a divorced family, but with 8 kids I can't imagine the impact that would make on them. Being a single parent is hard enough at times with or without 8 kids. Can you imagine the Child Support that he would have to pay for 8 kids? I can't even imagine. I think that it is wrong that this happened, but at the same time I wonder if when the papers were filed was strategically planned based on the running of the show? I mean how could the show possibly add in that they filed for divorce if that didn't previously know that Kate was going to do so on an exact date... that's just crazy. It's like it was all planned out...

I guess we will see how faithful I am about blogging over the next few weeks and see how it goes, but now I guess I will end my first post!